Generosity, Gunshots, Gratitude, Grandma’s Memoir

GENEROSITY

As Americans, we often pride ourselves on our generosity—contributing to worthy causes and providing gifts for individuals we’ve never met. I thought I’d begin today’s newsletter with a life-changing experience I had when we first moved to Texas.

In 1989, my husband’s company, the JC Penney Corporation, had recently moved to Plano, Texas and one of the things on the company’s bucket list was to provide less fortunate families with Christmas gifts. We were divided into groups, and my husband’s group was assigned to donate presents to a Hispanic family in east Plano. So, on a blustery winter day in early December, we traipsed to the home of a family we’d never met, armed with several carloads of Christmas gifts neatly wrapped, prepared to get that warm and fuzzy feeling folks often get who know that they will be donating their time and generosity to a family in need.

I’d always heard the phrase, ‘it is better to give than to receive,’ but up until that time, I didn’t fully understand this sentiment.

We drove up to the house in east Plano and began pulling gifts from the trunks of several vehicles. The family was expecting us, and a sweet, grandmotherly type woman met us at the door, speaking in broken English. As she motioned us into their tiny living room, a small Christmas tree in a corner of that room, we introduced ourselves one by one and handed her the gifts which she gently placed under the tree. She didn’t just toss them in a heap, but ran her hands over the wrapping paper, speaking in hushed tones about how beautifully the gifts were wrapped. They had several children who stood by quietly, smiling and nodding as they watched their gifts pile up. Unlike other children I’ve seen who grabbed the gifts wildly, tearing at the wrapping paper, these kids appeared to realize that gifts were reserved for special occasions; occasions upon which they would be opened.

To be frank, our intention as a group was to drop off the gifts and head out to the mall to complete our Christmas shopping. Well, that never happened. Because this lovely woman who invited us into her home understood the importance of giving. And truth be told, she probably knew it was more blessed to give than to receive. She spent the next hour cooking tamales for us and although several of us were in a hurry to move on, the smell of spices and meat wafting through the air on this cold winter’s day enticed us to remain glued to our chairs.

We waited patiently, and after scarfing down the amazing tamales that several of us had actually never before tasted, the look of pride on this mother’s face as we devoured her cooking is an expression I will never forget. She got it. She understood that watching a bunch of corporate guys and their families eating the delicious meal she’d prepared was her way of giving back. Message received: ‘It is better to give than to receive.’

Like many families, ours continued helping those in need during the Christmas season. So, here is where it gets tricky. On a mild winter’s day some years later, another woman from my church and I decided to adopt an Angel Tree family. The family was in a less than desirable section of Dallas. So, we two women, along with our kids, made the trek to Dallas and prepared to unload our gifts to a family we’d never met. But two things happened that soured our Christmas spirit on that particular year.

GUNSHOTS

As we drove into the apartment complex to deliver those gifts, a man lay dead in a large fountain, having just been shot. Ambulances were everywhere, and for a moment, we considered turning around and making our way back to the comforts of our Parkway Estates homes in Plano. But we persevered. The gifts, after all, were wrapped and our four kids were in the car, watching how we handled ourselves.

We made the decision to stay the course and made our way to the second-floor apartment to drop off the gifts. Imagine our surprise when we walked into the room and noticed the pile of presents already under the tree. Several of them were unwrapped, and I witnessed more Barbie dolls than I had ever seen. It was a painful scene because, unlike the family I’d delivered gifts to a number of years ago, this family seemed to have taken advantage of the system and received a plethora of presents. So much for families in need.

GRATITUDE

But, like any story, it doesn’t end here. Because that Hispanic family in Plano, years earlier, had taught me that it truly is more blessed to give than to receive. Whether it was wrong for the second family to bilk the system and potentially cheat another family out of receiving gifts is really none of my business. It’s all about the spirit in which I choose to give. Some of you reading this might cringe at my words, but if we spend an excessive amount of time evaluating whether people are taking advantage of someone’s generosity isn’t the point.

The act of giving warms our souls and contributes to the givers maintaining a generous spirit. Sometimes we learn more from a negative experience than a positive one. This was one of those times.

We’re in a contentious era here in America, and it will do us little good to fixate on all the things wrong with society. What if we channeled that energy into doing what we believe is right, without regard to how things turn out down the road? Seeing how things evolve down the road is God’s job, not ours.

GRANDMA’S MEMOIR

There is nothing better than I can think of as a gift than to give your family your memoir. It’s a way for family members to better understand who you are, and more importantly, a way for you to leave a lasting legacy that is of your choosing. I’ve taught memoir writing for five years; three of which were spent at Collin College in Plano, teaching senior citizens how to compose a memoir that is organized and makes sense. For that reason, I’m including the link to this book, in hopes that you will consider ordering a copy and giving it to those you love. If you live in the area, I would be delighted to autograph your copy. Click on this link.

https://www.amazon.com/Things-Wish-Told-You-Practical-ebook/dp/B0BL2D6N64

Additionally, I hope you’ll also consider giving your loved ones a copy of my own memoir about growing up in the foster care system. It illustrates how to organize your work and create chapters than draw your readers in. Again, I'd be more than happy to autograph your copy.

I wish you all a gazillion Christmas blessings. Some of you who know Jim (my husband of 52 years) are aware that he has been diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. We are praying that he will be able to receive a bone marrow transplant in January of next year. Our son, Matt, will be the donor. Prayers are greatly appreciated.

  With Love and Gratitude,

Gay Ann, Jim, and the donkeys, Chance & Button